something to blog about

my tarot card

2007-02-22T14:45:00.000+09:00

You are The Empress

Beauty, happiness, pleasure, success, luxury, dissipation.

The Empress is associated with Venus, the feminine planet, so it represents,
beauty, charm, pleasure, luxury, and delight. You may be good at home
decorating, art or anything to do with making things beautiful.

The Empress is a creator, be it creation of life, of romance, of art or business. While the Magician is the primal spark, the idea made real, and the High Priestess is the one who gives the idea a form, the Empress is the womb where it gestates and grows till it is ready to be born. This is why her symbol is Venus, goddess of beautiful things as well as love. Even so, the Empress is more Demeter, goddess of abundance, then sensual Venus. She is the giver of Earthly gifts, yet at the same time, she can, in anger withhold, as Demeter did when her daughter, Persephone, was kidnapped. In fury and grief, she kept the Earth barren till her child was returned to her.

What Tarot Card are You?
Take the Test to Find Out.

i wanna go home

2006-11-09T14:52:00.000+09:00

yes i want to go home right now, i've been looking for ge's since 10 am and its now 2 and still no ge found but i will try to get at least one class today, its sea 30 an introduction to southeast asian something, since i have no other choice i'll go with that course i'll just study hard to get a good grade then tomorrow i'm gonna look for two more ge's and hopefully i would get two ge's...i hate myself so much, see when i was waiting for the instructors to show up there's this little voice inside my head repeatedly telling me that i can't do this that i should have just made this appeal, but i told that other side of me that i made this decision on my own and i'm gonna stick to that decision no matter what happens...gosh i'm not gonna quit now...no...if i get this ge today i'll be the happiest person alive i mean imagine yourself being told by the instructors, graduating students only, then we you tell them that super underloadka they'll just shrug their shoulders and say no more slots, easy to say prof...i mean it's not the student's fault that there are a few slots available for a subject that's in demand anamputsa...patayin na natin silang lahat diba???

errr....

2006-11-08T18:08:00.000+09:00

here i am again another post....i'm not feeling ok for the past ahm....2 weeks...i'm trying to avoid having this some kind of tension with a friend i just don't want any more drama in my life,but i know that sooner or later things would be fine between us...i just want to take a break....nakakainis kasi dapat pala nung monday pa lang pwede na ako mag start ng enrollment kaso mam ocg forgot to give me my paper thingy kaya today lang ako nakapagstart wahahaha...malaking gudluck sa akin tomorrow...i just have to have faith that things would be ok....

gilmore girls...

2006-11-07T15:06:00.000+09:00

stuff i found at youtube...

spoilers

grays anatomy...

2006-11-07T15:03:00.000+09:00

yes its right...gray's anatomy...

fight

2006-11-07T14:40:00.000+09:00

when i got home last night i was so nervous, i was afraid that my brother is mad at me, as i've said before i'm more afraid of my brother than my mom, and my mom already told me dozens of time the i can shift to any course i like as long as my brother knows about it...so when i did arrive my brother looked masungit and i was like this is sh*t...i should've listened at him last year pa lang...so me and my mom talked a little well mainly about my grandma, father side,is doing this thing like she tells me stuff like, you should tell your brother that he should pay the rent so that your dad can move in with you guys...newsflash:we are already ok with the current arrangements please do not mess it up any more...and besides my brother is the one who pays for my education that's more than my mom and i could ask for...so in the real world i didn't say anything like that i just nodded...so after some time my brother was fixing the tv laptop connection and we were to watch grey's anatomy...i looove grey's anatomy next to gilmore girls and house its the must watch t.v. show...when i got here at UP i wanted to cry so badly i mean i studied for that f-ing subject but what happened my efforts were put into waste all that studying for nothing...i really don't know what to do....
i have this new seventeen mag, current ish. and i can totally relate to one of the articles on 17 drama,,yes...its true never ever tell a person who lost everything because of a fire or any kind of natural disaster that she's lucky that nobody in her family got hurt and that she's still lucky coz she's alive and unlike those other people who suffered that same thing, she stays somewhere and she still eats 3 times a day,,because that's bull...you're making that person want to like kill you and say are you out of your mind, i lost everything don't try making me feel by telling me those things, its better if you just say that you'll be there for me but telling me that?really...not a good idea...i guess what i'm trying to say is never ever make a teen hear those words when she's going through a lot of things...

new bloggie

2006-11-06T18:33:00.000+09:00

no i don't have a new blog i'm just doing some redesigning...

silver lining

2006-11-06T17:46:00.000+09:00

i was up late texting zai about some things so i slept round hmm...1 am...had a couple of weird dreams but as soon as i remembered that i have to go to up to check out my grade something inside of was saying that i have another 5 na grade at sa math yun...i was trying to shake off that feeling though i know that i failed, its just this feeling that i have....when i did get to up wait before i got there i received a text from ahjh saying that i was inelig. that sent me an instant boom messge, "you know you failed math you know you're not meant to be an i.e. why did you stop yourself from shifting last semester??stup*d idi*t!" but i was like i have a plan, yes i have a plan it is to get better grades this sem and shift to the course that i really like...and i have to figure out what course i want first of course but i can do that...i have to make decisions, this decisions i know would have a big effect on my life, and every thing that i do now would have an effect on the future, i have to figure out who i really am, what i want to be...masyado bang seryoso?i guess that's the side of me that i don't want people to discover ahahaha...so where was i ....so when i arrived at eng'g the first thing i looked for is the inelig list, and yes i was in it, for failing math 53 again,,then my buddy winnie was there we talked about some things he was trying to convince me to not shift out of i.e. but i was like i can't see ever since i was what in first year first sem i've already set my mind to shifting out of ie and picking a course in mascomm but i didn't do it, the fear started to drown the dream of shifting out,,,so i put my plans on hold hoping that i'e' would work out for me but it didn't...i went to the regcom booth took a non major application form filled it up and texted my brother, i'm not afraid of my mom or my dad...sa kuya ko ako takot he seemed to be the authorative figure in our family oo hindi yung dad ko...anyways he just asked me what course i'm shifting to sinabi ko naman and a little later ngaun he sent me a text sabi nya mag 15 units muna ako para light load lang at wag kumuha ng wed or sat class..too late kuya already have a wed class cwts...anyways i went to the ocg they made me answer this thing and made me take 4 exams that was supposed to tell me what career fiits me perfectly like a hand woven glove nakakabagot i already took that exam like that exam it told me that i can be good at anything, pero ok akong maging doctor...wah?ako doctor no thanks...so yun i felt stupid taking that exam but it was for me...so i took that freaking exam...may question dun about if nahihirapan akong matulog, i answered often geesh lots of stuff happened i mean that typhoon destroying our house, memories and everything else, moving into a new place, my parents not together,well that was so yesterday but it contributes to me having a hard time going to sleep, the feeling of being dumb for liking somebody sooo much,having grades that are not so good well they're fine but i want to get better grades...the feeling that i cant go for my dream coz of my lack of self confidence this is so not my day...i know that i'll be stronger after going through this but the process is hard...i want to make my mom and my brother proud, especially my mom...but i cant but i know i have to capacity to do that...i just have to believe that things happen for a reason...my life is full of drama i know pero fun pa din...like my aguela(lola) was at my aunt's place which is right next door to our new home,home kasi my love di na lang sya house lang,and she was making weird kenkoy jokes, and i'm sure that if you're there matatawa ka din...then we went out tapos she started speaking chavacano, a lingua franca sa cavite, tapos yun i can understand half of what she was saying like when she was asking my mom to give her some clothes in a funny way pati that she wanted to go to the mall pero no money daw hahaha...may balance pa din naman and kenkoy at madrama kong buhay, i guess life is really like a telenovela when you have a problem biglang magmumultiply sila pero may happy ending pa din, hey every cloud has a silver lining....

gudbye sem break

2006-11-05T16:08:00.000+09:00

have nothing to post except that i still have no idea what my grade in math is and i wasn't able to sleep early last night i was thinking bout someone...hahaha

our

2006-11-03T16:50:00.000+09:00

thats o.u.r. not our anyways just finished my f-ing exam...so how was my exam...hmmm let's see while finding the derivative of this certain function my head was aching so much you know like i want to hit my head on the wall kind of pain....so i went to the our to get my brother's tor yep and now i'm here typing away...hahaha...so now i'm chatting with shoddie...hahahah and some part of our chat was about me wanting to shift....so yep i want to shift to a course that i like not that i don't like i.e. its just that i don't see myself doing anything that an i.e. does...so my choices are
european lang. gwa of 2 or better]
b.a. gaw of 2.25 or better
educ gwa of 2.75
yep i'm thinking bout fulfilling my childhood dream of becoming a teacher...
i told shoddie that when i told my brother that i'm going to up today for an exam he told me again that i should think about my situation if i'm gonna go on with my current course, i.e. because he told me that that course is hard...well he knows i mean he's an i.e. and my brother knows my limitations, how, oh don't ask me...like when i was a junior in h.s. i told them that i'll go for the cat thing he told me that i shouldn't go for it...hahahaha...i realized after seeing my batchmates suffer to be an officer that i wouldn't want to be in their position...so going back to the whole shifting thing....yep i'm thinking about it, i guess my head aches coz i'm over thinking hahaha...so i dunno what i'm gonna do....
on my way here i was telling myself how stupid i am for not shifting last year, wait last 2nd sem coz i hade a nice gwa by nice i mean a 2.25 gwa wherein i can shift to a course that i like....see here's the part where i can not say wait i can say that i do not regret not shifting last 2nd sem don't bother asking me why hahaha...i really don't know what i'm gonna do but i'll figure it out....

so last uhm let's see..ah oct 31 i texted everyone, except friend x, on how i can get the removals paper thingy and nobody replied, well b did she said that i should ask m i did, got no replies from m...so because of this i texted friend x...got no replies from friend x....

so on november 1 while on our way home from the cemetery with my mom , kuya tita and cousins i received a text from guess who...friend x and yep he said sorry coz he wasn't able to reply for he had no load....he told me how to get that removal paper thing...and to make it seem as though things are okay between us i told him that my new puppy's name is fish...my brother named him fish....hahaha...and guess what he told me that one of his dogs are named gold fish....the world is weird....after that text my cousin told me, we live at apt d and my cousins live at apt c hahahaha...that they saw my ex boyfriend hahaha....weird right?....and yah i wasn't able to post anything about our island cove thing...but how weird could things get....i mean i told myself that i would be on acad mode this 2nd sem then all of the sudden guys they're there i mean hahahaha...when i was looking for someone nada but when i go on a vacation from the looking for somebody they come....see my cousins friend ces likes me and he wants my cousin to build him up geesh...so i told my cousin when she said "duy si dok sa akin si ces sa'yo" i said "see you like dok and he likes you but i don't like ces, he likes me" hahaha i am not mean its just that i'm not interested....hahaha...i don't know if i'll ever feel comfortable around friendx i mean its not that its never gonna happen the him and me becoming good friend again, its just that it'll be like a sem before we could be friend-friends again....i just can't seem to forget that he made me feel as though something would happen...when i told r about it he said that friend x does have a thing for me its just that the timing isn't right...whatever..really...people say that we should give people who hurt us a second chance....yah sure but every rule has an exception and he belongs to the yup you're right to the people who would never have a second chance...i've been hurt too much too give him a second chance...

removals

2006-11-03T13:45:00.000+09:00

today is my removals exam in math 53, my brother told me that i should think about stuff, you know if i'll still continue this ie thing, the thing is ever since i was a kid i never imagined myself working in an office doing stuff, i imagined myself becoming a teacher hahaha...but now i dunno i guess oh what the heck see if i'm given a chance to pick the course that i really want it'll be theater arts then uhmm european languages...i 've already made my decision before the enrollment last sem , that i was gonna shift to european languages but i change my mind, i guess its the fear of not knowing anyone and leaving your friends and not always see them...

forevermore

2006-10-22T15:14:00.000+09:00

last night i was watching philippine idol when pow sang forevermore by side a...then i sent this text message to my list saying that i like the song forevermore soo much that its the best song ever...in the whole world...then friend a asked me if i was in love i said no...no i am not in love, at least that's what i think so...really i have no idea..i mean i also have this thing that i learned, after my gym session with my mom as my instructress hahaha...daddy vic and george and my mom agreed that jealousy isn't a form of like showing a person you love em but its more of being selfish,and i agree with them...still not in love and forevermore rocks..

thinking

2006-10-17T18:19:00.001+09:00

so i've been thinking on why am i still single, not -taken, alone...well probably one of the answers for that is that my family has a big influence on me and when my lola talked to me last sunday she repeatedly told me that i should stay single up til the day i graduate and up til the time i have a decent paying work thingie, cause she said that settling down is easy so i should just enjoy my single life...and then i heard my godmother/tita say to my cousin who's 8 yrs old"ayan zaira gagaya ka sa ate denice mo ha, tingnan mo wala pa ding nobyo, gayahin mo sya ha" oh c'mon naman so i'm like a role model for my cousin's coz i'm still single and i opt to put my acads first hahaha... but really i'm so tired of getting hurt i mean i think i'm going through the whole process of falling for someone then knowing that he doesn't like you the way that you like him, why can't i have what i want, did i do something bad that's why all this bad karma has come my way...oh well i just have to well, wait and see, again, what happens, and hope that this time the dude that i'll fall for would also fall for me...

can never be

2006-10-13T16:41:00.000+09:00

In the last episode of Gilmore girls season 6 lorelai was talking to this shrink about what she wants and that is to get married and have children with luke, but then she can’t have that, then the shrink told her that she can’t have what she wants unless she does something about it, and that is to take the risk and do a move, then lorelai said that if she does anything she’s got lots to loose, but then the shrink told her that to her it seems that she doesn’t have much to loose coz she doesn’t have anything that she likes at that time…and thus she says the line which is my most favorite line in that season that is if you want something you have to ask for it and if its not given to you it means that its not meant to be or that its not worth the wait at all, for some things are just not meant to be…with that in mind I told friend x right?and then I got the answer that I was not hoping to get, that is that I’m just a friend that he likes me as a friend, which for me is bull since I would not have done anything if I didn’t feel anything within me saying that I should take a risk and all….now after almost a month since that happened I am a li’l bit alright but I dunno I now look at men in college as persons who want to play around that they are all “malalande” son in turn girls should be the same too, pero I can’t do that, believe me I tried if you are like me, a hopeless romantic who believes in once upon a times and happily ever afters then that would never be your thing, see the only thing I want is to find that one person who would accept me amidst my flaws a guy who would like me for who I am and not for what I am, too idealistic?nu-uh…but its hard for me to accept the fact that happily ever afters don’t always happen that sometimes you get the reality version of your favorite fairytale wherein the “prince charming” or the “knight in shining armor” is really an ass who would like to control every move that you make…that after they get married, you will see what happens when they have kids and that’s when your prince and the princess would fight always about the most simple stuff….how I wish that I would be in the movie notting hill wherein I play Julia Roberts role…and say my favorite line in that movie which is “I’m just a girl standing infront of a boy asking him to love me…” well I always end up doing the move so this is no biggie for me but really wouldn’t it be nice to say that? But I have to admit that if ever there is a line that I’m dying to say to friend x it’ll b from season 2 of friends the one with the prom video, which is that of rachels line to ross…”I fall for you , then I get clobbered, you then again fall for me but I again somehow get clobbered, I’m so tied of getting clobbered ross…’
Life is so unfair I mean why do people fall for the wrong person di ba???why not just fall once…at dun sa taong para sayo kasi you won’t end up getting hurt so much…but life is unfair…now I recall some ex stuff….up until know I don’t know if I really loved him or if it was just infatuation coz I really don’t know…Now I know that I’m not falling for “sam” coz really him hahaha not worth it…not gonna fall for somebody for the wrong reasons….so now who am I with…well nobody kasi I realized that I should learn to love myself muna before I could love somebody hahahaha…I just wish that things would go my way….

I just finished watching an episode of grey’s anatomy and according to it out of the seven deadly sins its anger which is the most dangerous of all since if your angry you’ll end up hurting more people…and I think that its true I dunno the only time that I got so angry was when I was in 2nd yr high school when I feel like I’ve been literally harassed by my guy classmates so I shouted at them and they ended up getting so ashamed of what they did and stuff,but I dunno I’ve never been like so angry that I could kill a person I mean that’s weird,,,but last night I got so frustrated because this manang won’t do what is asked by the manong fx so that we could go she was super stubborn which was like, manang pwede ba makisundo na lang kayo and just shut up cause all you think about is yourself I mean almost everything that comes out of your mouth is me, me ,me nakakabuset………..

I’m currently playing the song especially for you by mymp on the media player..sa totoo lang I hate this song, why?this became my break up song for like a week coz yeahfor some time I did dream that me and my ex would get back together, so that’s the reason why I still don’t know if I loved my ex or was it just infatuation caused by the fact that among my barkada I’m the only one who does not have a boyfriend…so I was on the stage of denial and the “I want you back in my life” stage which was so pathetic coz really now that I think about it I became so stupid.,see after we broke up I still continued texting him and all coz I dunno maybe just maybe by texting him it would make him realize that he still loves me, eeew,, now that I think about it its so icky right?so yeah there are times that I stare at the ceiling and ask myself weird questions like did I really love m or was it just infatuation, but I do know that if ever he asks if we could get back together I’ll definitely say no coz I already gave him a chance, I know that you’re supposed to give people lits of chances but I got so hurt when we broke up, duh I almost got hit by a car coz while I’m crossing the street all I could think of was him,,,hahaha,,,weird,,,but I still think na hindi pa ako naiinlove ever I mean I easily get infatuated with somebody but it takes a long long process para lang ma inlove ako talaga I don’t know kasi gusto ko lang magsigurado,,,may big difference ang like and love I mean if I told you I like you it means like talaga kita and if ever I say stuff like, “alam ko naming mabait ka” totoo yun I mean it comes from my heart talaga, pero yun nga if I told you I like ou it means like lang pero siguro in the process of falling for you pa lang kasi I took the risk of telling you how I really feel nga di ba????when will I ever find that person na magiging “perfect match” ko kaya…..hmmm bakit ang drama ko ngayon…puro love life na lang itong pinagbloblog ko…hmm maybe because I’m listening to icky love songs that I like hahaha….when will I ever fall in love talaga kaya…

exam

2006-10-04T17:30:00.000+09:00

oh well...1 exam down lots more to go...as you all know cavite is under the state of calamity after the storm milenyo hit our town...and gosh we were really in a state of calamity...i mean we lost all of our stuff because of that stupid damn typhoon the only thing we have is our tv and yeah the tv....i lost all of my books,my notes, my new sci cal, everything...and to think that i have like 2 weeks more to go, and the final exams are like next week how am i gonna study...but instead of crying again over the fact that i might fail all of my subjects, i just borrowed my friend's book and photocopied some part of it and i talked to my prof if i can borrow her spanish book so i can have it photocopied and stuff...but i have lots to do pa....as they say every cloud has a silver lining and indeed it is true because of the disaster the typhoon caused me, my mom and my brother moved to a new place, one near my lola's place and honestly we're better off without my dad i mean everytime i see him get wasted i just take one look at him and i can't help but feel super disgusted i mean what's wrong with him?whatever...so well i have to go now but to all bloggers out there just remember that life is like an exam but don't worry nobody fails in that exam since you have the greatest teacher and that is GOD..

que lio!

2006-09-26T19:06:00.000+09:00

ahm lets see when was my last post...i dunno...so what's my current state of mind?wala eh...oh yeah my mom told me that we're moving and by we she meant me, her and my brother no dad...for me its ok..ayun...in our org's log book may question na parang twice na natanong ung parang what would you do para malaman ng person na gusto mo na you like him/her...wahahaha....for me...ehem...for me ganito lang yan eh...lets say you guys have been friends for quite some time anf you started to develop feelings toward this friend, if nagpapakita sya ng special treatment magiisip ka is it because may gusto din sya sayo or is he just doing that coz for him para ka na rin nyang sis o baka dahil ganun din sya sa iba nyang close na friends tapos think of it in a different perspective parang what if gfanun din iniisip nya sa parang nag aantayan kayo di ba di ba...and that sucks big time so when the time comes na you just feel na you can't stand the waiting feeling anymore go ahead and tell the person na you like him/her bakeeet?sus if you both like each other di win-win situation yun, if not at least its a perfect way to start forgettimg bout the feelings you have for that person kasi naman di ba if ganun na he likes you but he doesn't like like you di you'll end up waiting for him to say na i like you and that sucks why?what if may person na may gusto sayo and if hindi mo iniintay na sabihin nung guy na gusto mo na he likes you si naka hindi mo na miss yung opportunity na yun malay mo yun pala yung the one para sayo..ahahaha...from experience kasi eh...i mean the friend x thing pati yung sa ex ko...ahahaha...i mean yung sa ex ko medyo ewan yun kasi prom tapos parang nagusap sila nung gay friend ko so parang ako ahhh may mangyayari siguro ahahaha...tapos kay friend x, thank God sinabi ko sa kanya, sobrang nalalabuan ako kaya sinabi ko na din sa kanya.....so now yah loveless ako but its okay...hahaha..really ngaun puro crushes ako as in pati yung crush ko nung eng12 crush ko na ulit kasi he's cute and cute ahhahaha

also i feel sooo stupid the strange dreams with "sam" had returned just last night i had a dream with sam in it and i was like what the hell's happening?i don't want to go to the whole process of thinking why i fdreamt about sam...the other day when me and j were at the mrt on our way home after all the interviews i shared well kinda shared my feelings i was telling him stuff bout why i had an ass as an ex and why does everybody that i like, what i mean by like here is like like as in like to be with in a relationship, ends up liking me as a friend, i was like the world is unfair i mean i'm a good person i don't do sh*t to people,and what is it about me that makes the people i like see me as a friend lang haay....then i remembered that things happen for a reason the reason might not be clear now but when the right time comes i'll understand why those stuff happened to me...

tae

2006-09-15T16:15:00.000+09:00

wala lang yang title na yan can't think of any title eh...hay grabe...ok so now what's in my head is like why did i go to college...hmmm the answer would be because i want to have a nice job so that i can buy my mom a house and of course save up money para when i get married tapos jerk yung naging husband ko i'll pack my bags and leave and if may children na kami nun i'll take the kid and go hahaha...well syempre i have plans to get married and syempre blog ko to i'll type anything i want all you can do is post comments and stuff so yeah and if given a chance i want to be wed with my best friend pero malabo yun kasi i have lots of bestfriend na guy pero lahat sila friend lang talaga...and basta malabo...my tita told me that i should start na magmature kasi para pa din daw akong kid for me di ko kelangan magchange just so that people would like me i'll change lang pag alam ko na para sa mas ikagaganda ng stuff yung pag change ko...also i realized na sa mga ginagawa ko pwede ko iadvice o sabihin sa friends ko na when you get old and you look back sa buhay mo mas ireregret mo yung bagay na di mo ginawa kesa sa stuff na ginawa mo kasi di ba totoo naman yun i hauhaunt ka ng past mo like iisipin mo palagi kung ano kaya nangyari if ganito and ganyan, hahahaha trust me nafeel ko na yun and sobrang nakakainis well kasalanan din naman nya eh he acted weird, naging snob sya kya i texted him and said na i'm sorry ayoko na kasi your an ass well those were not the exact words pero parang ganun yung nasabi ko hehehe...oh and super weird kasi hate ko na naman yung song na especially for you eh i hated that song like last year pa when my ex and i broke up kasi super martyr nung song, like why wait for that person to come back eh you're not that sure if he's ever gonna run back into your arms and say the words you've been longing to hear di ba oh well....when carlo was playing that song in his guitar i asked him to stop playing the song, eh tapos last night my mom gave me two phones and one of those phones was exactly the same as the phone i had when my ex and i became a thing tapos biglang nagkaroon ng parang flashback ng memories and i was like i was happy he became a part of my life and i totally accept the fact that we will never become a thing ulit uhm dun na sya kay whatever her name is i know that he's happy with her...but me still here searching for the right guy and waiting for the right time to come but for now i'll just be on acad mode and of course i'll start preparing for eng'g week i know that that's like a long time from now pero fun eh
'

baby bam bam

2006-09-15T15:45:00.000+09:00

yep that's baby bam bam cute di ba?!well anyways that picture was taken last saturday nung nagpunta kami sa island cove all thanks to tita joan free yung swimming namin dun that's my cousin wait my favorite cousin jaja kinda weird nga eh kasi bigla na lang ako sinubuan ni bam bam ng sky flakes and yeah my aussie accent itong batang ito pag nagsasalita hehehe

well dahil parang pang sky flakes ad to may something lang ako na maisip
i forgot when it was pero i was on my way home na sa may mall of asia inside an f-ing van waiting na mapuno yung van so syempre nakaalis din kami dun pero something happened i had 2 skyflakes na pack and i opened one tapos sa tapat ko is a kid siguro mga 4 yrs old sya tapos lumapit sya sa kin and said penge and i gave him one naman, i guess my point in sharing this is why can't we be like that di ba? on love bakit hindi na lang pwede yung i like you you like me bam!we're a thing na and complicated talaga when it comes to love super gulo may times na you like each other pero off yung timing, o di kaya hindi pwede kasi yung isa is hindi feel magkaron ng relationship basta palaging may gulo, ah well...ganyan lang talaga...i'm just tired of liking someone tapos nagkamoment na kayo or something like that pero biglang may mangyayari na parang mawawala yung moment tapos wala na...kasi naman eh ang labo...

bitter

2006-09-15T15:28:00.000+09:00

for like a week i've been having strange dreams that has "sam" in it, weird talaga anyways so i thought na uhm subconscious baka naman that means na i like "sam", but who is "sam" well i'm not gonna describe who he is, not know maybe when my feelings for him ay gone na as in...hehehe...so ayun i was getting kinda freaked out coz i don't want to go through the drama of you know thinking that that dude has a thing for me when sa totoong buhay ginagawa nya lang yung job nya as a guy na manlande hahahaha....so super tinatry ko na maghanap ng ibang person na magiging crush, pati nga yung street dance club na guy na crush ko dati ginawa kong crush ulit eh just to stop thinking of "sam" and friend x...and oo i have to admit it meron pa rin akong feelings kay friend x pero medyo ayoko pa munang pagisipan yun eh, when he texted me last sunday ata or saturday na he has new pictures of his pet labrador ata sa friendster and that i shouls check 'em out ang reply ko lang ay ah ok and he said na baka naman daw meron ako kasi super sungit ko, whatever anyways yun so i'm really tired of thinking bout that....yesterday andito sa up yung 2 h.s. barkada ko si chi and lee they were here for an it forum so yun pinuntahan ko sila dun and i told them na they should introduce me to some of their cute friends hehehe, kelangan ko na kasi istop yung pag isip kay "sam" and friend x eh so pinakilala naman nila ako kay darwin and kay allen cute nga pareho and katext ko na ngayon si darwin, and medyo naaalis na yung pagisip ko sa two other guys na yun, and kanina nung after nung lunch namin parang napaicip ako na di muna ako maghahanap ng commitment hehehe enjoy ko lang tong ganito fun naman kasi eh hehehehe

dropping....

2006-09-08T12:41:00.000+09:00

yesterday bern and i were at the gym kasi hinahanap namin si sir j para idrop yung cheerleading class namin, kahiya first ever na idodrop ko pe pa well anyways we talked about lots of stuff, pati yung current situation ko, anlabo kasi talaga well sa amin na lang ni bern yun, basta nagstart yun sa dream that i had last tuesday night ata...well anyways napagusapan din namin na hindi ko naman sasabihin kay friend x yung sinabi ko kung hindi sya nagpapakita ng stuff, i mean di ko naman talaga sasabihin yun coz deep inside i know that i'm still not ready for any relationship and ayoko muna ng kahit anong commitment kasi natrauma ako dun sa nangyari between me and my ex...so yun pati i know na hindi kami pwede and that he doesn't like me the way i like him so yun...so yun foul nga daw talaga yung ginawa nya na yun, nafeel ko na para akong reserve stuff for him, parang rebound girl you know yung pagwala akong somebody ikaw yung magiging somebody ko...hahaha...hay now i see friend x as a guy na di deserving magkaroon ng matinong relationship and i know na hindi ko na sya shasharean ng stuff kasi iba na yuing tingin ko sa kanya eh..........

vice night

2006-09-04T15:23:00.000+09:00

so after watching the last episode of gilmore girls i realized something, and it was that i wanted to tell friend x that i liked him a lot, and if he doesn't feel the same way its ok coz there are lots of other people pa naman di ba, marami pang guys out there...

so thursday night while my mom was fixing up my vicenight costume i recieved a text from friend x, syempre di ko na ganun ka alala so kung ano na lang yung naaalala ko di ba
friend x:bern told me na may sasabihin ka daw sa akin, did i do something wrong
me:wala just got to the tambayan tom. and i'll talk to you, punta ka ng mga 2 pm
friend x:2 pm, di ako pwede(something about barkada friday stuff) sabihin mo na lang kasi kahit ano blah blha gagawin para sa'yo
me:well fine, dunno how to start uhm, gilmore girls episode last tuesday shrink told lorelai that if you want something you have to ask for it and if its not given to you its not worth it, coz some stuff are not meant to be....uhm i like you a lot, i don't know nga kung bakit eh, coz you're not even like antonio banderas hot(people antonio banderas is HOT i mean did you see the movie take the lead, yung dance nya ng tango ata that was hot!)sige tawa na go tawa....
friend x: uhm thanks...i like you too but i'm not looking for someone...ako tatawa, something bout you dont need somebody para maging happy ka...
me: ako din naman eh i'm not looking for any kind of relationship i just want you to know na i like you...
yung other text wag na lang...so come friday di ako ganun kalungkot, parang na feel ko nga na may nabunot na tinik dahil he knows na....pero nung nag vice night narealize ko na super hindi ok sa akin yung nangyari....bakit?well nakwento ko kay alecco yung nangyari and while i was telling him what happened i called friend x tae and sh*t...as in paulit ulit, sabi ko tae sya alecco sh*t sya,,,stuff like that and alecco told me na madami pa namang iba dyan, sabi ko i know na madami pa pero alam mo yun yung feeling ng rejection miski neutral naman yung nangyari kasi we're still friends, pero sa totoo lang i know na i can never tell him stuff anymore, na hindi na ganun kaclose kasi nga sobrang hindi naman ako magkakagusto ng sobra if he didn't send mixed signals i mean pinipilit nya akong sabihin sa kanya kung sino yung crush ko, c'mon di naman fanun ka stupid ang guys diba?duh sinabi din yan ng friend ko nung vice night na di dense ang guys, geesh....basta i know na how it feels yung alam, mo yun putting yourself out there tapos bam!masasaktan ka lang din, i think i'll enjoy being single muna as in walang commitment di ba...i still believe that i'll find my soulmate pero siguro di lang ito yung tamang time di ba?naalala ko tuloy yung ex bf ko when he said na if kami kami and stuff pero i don't like him na eh hehehe anyway back to love stuff....yun i believe and fate and stuff, i know na sobrang icky nun pero di ba masaya yun di ba finding the person na makakasama mo forever yun....

so pag uwi ko nung saturday sobrang red ko lalo na yung back ko and sobrang sakit ng ulo ko so natulog ako and i woke up around 3 pm tapos tinapos ko na yung last season ng wag(will and grace) tapos parang ako i wish na magiging ganun din kami ng batch 05...so after nun me and my kuya went to my lola's place para mkita si baby bam bam....yung youngest cousin ko hehe ang cute nya and tingin ko magiging kamukha sya ng kuya ko hehehe....

so yun ngayon i'll focus muna on my studies masyado pa akong bata to think about those stuff i mean i'm just 17 and madami pang time para dun and if mamemeet ko na yung taong yun, i mean if memeet ko na yung taong yun i'll know...hahaha...syempre di ba...adios...hasta el miercoles....

friend x, nanaman

2006-08-24T15:48:00.000+09:00

well i know na kakapost ko lang ng something pero may bigla lang pumasok sa utak ko,ang weird kasi uhm...bakit ko naisip bigla tong stuff na to, well i can't post here yung text namin coz if i do baka malaman nya na sya yun, he has asked me lots of times who my crush is i gave him clues pero syempre yung mabababaw lang...i dunno if i should stop liking him or if i should wait, anak ng tokwa wait na naman well i'm used to that pero sana naman malaman ko na di ba...

physics

2006-08-24T15:29:00.000+09:00

wahaha...i did not pass sa physics 2nd l.e. but it's ok kasi passing pa din yung standing ko....yes...wahaha...
i did not study for that exam kasi nanuod lang ako ng gilmore girls then natulog...i was too depressed to study, lorelai told emily that the luke and her thing would never happen, luke is such an idiot,well basta...then bigla ko naisip na yung sa akin and kay friend x..yes i know that i said na i'll try to forget my feelings for him but is hard, lalo na kasi nakikita ko sya and nagkakatext kami di naman ganun ka palagi pero basta...so yun i then heard myself say na the me and friend x thing ill never happen coz i won't tell him na i like him, i've done that before yung sa ex ko pero wahahaha don't want to go through that again...so yun i realized na i really liked friend x and i hope na he likes me too pero mukhang imposible mangyari yun, even if m,edyo marami na nagsasabi na parang he likes me daw, wahaha...

bakit nga ba bigla ulit nagchange yung mind ko at bigla ko ulit naisip si friend x, after nya ako di pansinin hahaha tapos pinansin apos nagtext well...di ko alam kung bakit...basta kung ano mangyayari may mainding rason naman siguro yun, i'll trust God and kung ano man mangyari well ok lang hahaha...well i think lalo ako naguluhan nung katext ko si bern last sunday i was on my way home na nun after ng bulabugan and after namin manood ng uaap ung game ng up vs admu, i said na bern napepenguin ako wahahaha napepenguin means kinikilig, imagine penguins and how they walk yun, so she told me na parang well yung pinakabuong meaning nun sinabi ni bern para sa akin is nagpapakamanhid daw ako, wahahaha,,,i don't know kasi magulo eh...oh well minsan nga napapaisip ako if he's just being a good friend o nagda"da moves" na sya hhehehe....

............

2006-08-15T15:25:00.000+09:00

well its been a long time since i postedsomething here...so just an update

*eswat na ko (eswat-eng'g special works and tasks) sa pub ako wehehehe
*i passed my span 10 second exam and i only need 73 percent to get a passing mark coz 70 ung passing gradefor span
*i don't think of friend x that much na , let's see kaw ba naman mafeel mong invisible ka o kaya na in his universe you don't exist eh hindi kla ba maiinis he did that ignoring thing twice tapos pinansin nya ko the other day i was like what the hell is wrong with this person may psychological problem ata
*just finished watchingthe complet season 2 of gilmore girls, thanks patag
*midterms ko bukas sa math 53
*nagtuturo ako ng cheering sa department of avt at philsca and they haven't paid me yet afternilang sabihin na may food and transpo allowance ako...damn...where is it???
*i totally regret not auditioning for philippine idol...why?coz its harder to regret something you didn't do than something na ginawa mo
*i'm in 3 org pictures para sa inhinyero hahaha....1. iec,2.eswat,3.prime
*ididiretso ko na yung pagapply for prime and gk(gawad kalinga)

well what else?hmmm...ah yun i tried nahulaan yung sarili ko the other day so i used yung 3 cards na king yung heart si friend x, yung clubs ba yun whatever si friend at yung diamond ata or yung isa yung ex ko
yung questions ay
1. sino yung pagnagsabi na he likes me masyado ng offyung timing nya?-friend
2. sino yung malaki ang chance na maging bf ko?-friend x
3. sino yung malaki yung chance na maging husband ko?(duh trip trip lang to)-friend x

ngayon masasabi ko na ang hula ay wala lang anyways i've given up on the whole me and friend x thing whatever di ba, pati i'm perfectly happy being single(not) hahaha....

ate lei got married na and i want to have what she has i mean in the end naman yun din yung gugustuhin ko to be with someone who would watch my life as it unfolds di ba?and sana yung person na yun ay isang friend ko as in...

ayun so yun lang naman talaga....excited na ko bukas tama ba?hahaha...magrarapel kami sa may eng'g cool di ba?tapos sir jaz said na magkakaron kaming parang amzing race na thing cool....dapat manalo yung team namin!!!!

in the camp the devil wears prada

2006-07-30T20:42:00.001+09:00

where the hell did i get that title?well i just watched the camp and the devil wears prada kaya yun yung naging title ko...so for a week i've been into highschool musical, i've watched for like 3 or 4 times and i even know the choreo for getcha head in the game and all in this together...hehehe....and now after that musical i watched the camp its also a musical pero i like it coz it's about acting, well theater acting, sa broadway, and i like it a lot, and the devil wears prada was great too...i mean i like how anne acted andrea it was great.well what did i realize after watching that film, that you can't have everything that you want syempre you always have to pick kung ano yung mas gusto mo your career or your family coz see miranda, andrea's boss, has 2 kids and she has a husband but because she's so into her career yung marriages nya always nagfafail and she said na it's unfair sa twins and yun, well that kinda made sense when i think about it but whatever, for the camp, because of that film i remembered how much i loved theater and how much i wanted to be in a broadway musical but i chose to go for what's better and i mean i could still be in theater pero i have to put in a lot of effort coz i don't have alot of background on theater acting....
oh well i still have to write a reaction paper due tom....

.....

2006-07-21T21:11:00.000+09:00

tomorrow is tazha's debut yey legal na sya!i've always wanted a debut...why?because....no need to esplain why, pero sige....its because i only turn 18 once and i want it to be a special day...syempre 18 roses and 18 candles pti treasure!i already have a program in mind hkc will do that prayer thing they will sing one thing i ask which is the most beautiful song i know!tapos i will beg gaude to sing pati si chinee!tapos if possible si kuya geh or si ate lei yung magplay ng pang accompany tapos si gaude din ang last dance ko dahil i consider him is my closest guy friend at dahil sa kanya eh napapatawa nya kami nila chi at hazel lalo na dahil he's the one and only orchestra boy!yun so syempre andun din sila patag, jod and sila pa...andami eh also i want my brother to sing somethin for me...alam ko na kaya nyang kumanta coz i hear him sing everyday so yeah kahit anong matinong song wag lang pop ng nsync hahaha...well have to go and watch will and grace before that dyempre living with fran.....

confused

2006-07-21T20:47:00.000+09:00

i know that i have just posted something moments ago, i just wanted to write my silly thoughts...
this is kinda my ideal man thing...hehehe...so lets see...
sana friend ko sya for a long time na, i really want to have the luke and lorelai type of thing
sana roman catholic kasi i don't want na mangyari yung nangyari sa amin ng ex ko
mas matangkad sa akin
likes dogs
and knows how to play the guitar and/or the piano

so lets see out of those 5 things 4 dun tugma kai friend x except one actually two kasi di ko pa sya close friend eh....so why the hell am i thinking of him again this is crap!ok i'll stop thinking bout him i will....yo te amo pero no te quiero.....

update

2006-07-21T19:40:00.000+09:00

my last update in this on line jounal of mine was when i said to myself that i'll give up the thought of me and him being together, i would be telling a lie if i said that i had given him up, coz he still fills the empty space in my heart, but now i will give him up coz the thought of him and me being together is great but its imposible coz how can a person like him fall for me, i mean i'm just a simple person but i don't know it just seems like no one could ever fall for me...so i asked for a sign, the last one, and what did the sign tell me?that i should just think of other things and not him...and i will do that..even if its hard to do i have to coz if i don't stop this thing that i have for him, i know that i'll end up thinking that we could have a thing, i'll end up wishing that he would be mine, and i don't want to be in that position again, it sucks, waiting for him to tell you that he does like you the same way that you like him and that he wants to give you and him a shot, it sucks....i know that getting hurt is part of falling in love but if you were in my place you would definately feel the same way, afraid to fall for the wrong person again coz he might end up leaving your heart shattered into pieces,or if it is "the one" your afraid coz even if lots of people say that when your meant to be you'll end up together your afraid that he might leave you for something better and when he comes back the door to your heart is closed because you got so hurt when he left you...now i realize that i'm back to square one, i'm the old me again....

all of my closest highschool friends have someone special let's see let's do a list of my friends with the corresponding number of relationships they had...
1. jhen(bestest friend)-102. chinee - 8
3. hazel -104. che -4
5. jaja - 7
6. yen - 3

and me just one.uhm...i had a couple of "manliligaws" before but i just didn't want to have a relationship kaya i ended up ignoring the fella and i gave one manliligaw a chance but he only lasted for like a day he was a bastard and my friend likes him, i'd rather have my friend than him...i guess the reason why i just have one bf is because i thought he was the one but i was wrong, i got so hurt when he broke up with me coz his pastor told him that he sisn't have any time left for the ministry but the real reason behind that break up was because his ex girlfriend realized that she still loc\ves him so he left me for her, well i'm just not lucky in love but i know that one of these days i'll meet that guy that's meant for me pero for now i'll just say no to love...

so let's go back in time as i tell you what happened to my first relationship....can't believe i'm doing this.....
when i went to school to buy books i went to registrar's office to look at the names of our new classmates..then my eyes landed on his name and it seems like i now him...first day of classes i saw him something felt different, it was magic, he seemed to be the person sent by God for me to love....i started writing silly poems about him, love and the spark that i felt when i first saw him, my best friend tols me that there's something weird happening to me, abee told me that i have fallen for him, i made my move and sent him an e mail asking for advice that's about me having feelings for a friend(which was him) and that i don't know what to do, he told me that i should tell him more about this friend so i did, he found out that i liked him coz my classmates and even my adviser told him so...it was the last three months of my highschool life, my adviser gave us a new seating arrangement and i was seated right next to him, as days passed we knew more about each other and i knew that every single moment i spent with him i was falling deeper and deeper in love with him, i knew it was wrong coz i promised myself that wouldn't fall in love till i graduate college, but i broke that promise and fell for him, it was our retreat and i gave him a letter in it i told him that i would tell him something important on our graduation, his reply was that he won't go to our graduation so whatever it is that i'm planning to tell him i should tell him na. it was february 18 and i asked for a sign and i got it, when i went to our prom i felt as if something is gonna happen, and then i saw him, as the dj started playing slow songs my gay friend jubert asked me if i would give him the honor of having my first dance so i agreed then i saw him making hand gestures as if he's calling someone, it was my ex that he called, and it started with a simple question, that ended up with me being his girlfriend hahaha...no need to give you details hahaha....

i thought that our relationship would be forever but i was wrong yun nga he got back with his ex then that girl texted me pa and i was like so whatever go ahead marry him you're meant to be together just remember na makakarma kayo and why the hel;l are you texting me leave alone what else do you want?you got him na and his yours forever....

it took me almost like i dunno 5 months to get over him and friend x was the reason why i moved on, he told me that i should move on coz it's better to have love and lost that never to have loved at all and he was right..i thought that he could be it pero i'm just a friend for him even though lots of my friends told me that he likes me...its just that he's i dunno a good friend and i already kinda made some moves that were not that clear pero i know that maybe he noticed 'em pero la pa din nothin happened hmmm...guess it means there's nothing between us hahaha....

goodbye friend x

2006-07-09T11:42:00.000+09:00

yes i'm saying adios amigo x! por que? i realized that were better off as friends nothing more nothing less uts gonna be hard but i know that i could get through my life without him as my significant other my special someone...i've lots of dreams to fulfill and even if one of thoe are to be with him or be someone till the end of my life, i have to do some of those dreams first, so why did i suddenly make this decision coz if two people are meant to be they'll be with each other at the right time, and because i want to focus on my studies first and be an active clubber, syempre forever clubber na ko!!!and i don't want to get hurt ulit sus if you were in my shoes when my ex broke up with me let's see if you wouldn't get hurt....but the thing of the past is history so let's not recall those foolish memories...all i want to do now is spend some time soul searching and spend some quality time with my family minus my biological father, yep still mad at him pero konti na lang.....well ayun so life nga naman...

superman returns

2006-06-28T22:08:00.000+09:00

if i'll rate this film from a 1 to 10 scale 10 being the highest...i'll give it a 9.9, because of the one scene with the bad special effects...all thanks to magic 89.9 my cousin and i were able to catch the advance screening of Superman Returns in Robinsons Galleria last night...
Brandon Routh did a great job being superman, coz on some scenes i thought he was christopher reeves, kate bosworth also did an excellent job also mr.lex luthor!yes....
the thing that shocked me most in this superman movie is the thing that lois lane and superman had a son named jason,he's asmathic but he inherits his dad's superstrength!!!and i was like what?how did that happen?i mean what?geesh...the best!

life

2006-06-28T21:53:00.000+09:00

wala na...i just want to say na the thing about me and friend x is over...well i just realized that things would be icky and i have lots of problems now kaya why bother telling him...haaay...

sh*t

2006-06-26T13:13:00.000+09:00

have you ever felt like you wanna cry but you can't coz when you do a lot of people will look down on you and pity you...well that's how i feel right now, i know that when you're not fine you should say something about it to someone you trust and i'm gonna do that now, with just a mouse click and some typing i'll be fine...not!i feel like i need to talk to a shrink for i dunno a period of 10 days!see ever since i was in highschool i've experienced lots of stuff let's see i've experienced...basta lots of stuff...i'll say lots of stuff later when i get home...

....

2006-06-23T21:46:00.000+09:00

as i hear the rain drop at the roof of this room
all i could think of is you
and how i like you just as i like the rain
you make me smile when i see you unexpectedly
but you also make me mad whenever i hear your name
for such a long time i've waited for someone like you to come my way
but why now? when i promised to never fall in love again

i know that you only see me as a friend
but that's alright with me
i know that i'm just one of the girls you think of as a close friend
i'm just so stupid coz i thought that
the things that you do were signals that spell out i-like-you
but i was wrong...
i found out that those sweet nothings for me were just normal stuff you do...

so now i know what i have to do
stop day dreaming of having you
talk to you like your not someone i like
see you as a friend
see you as the person whom i trust the most in the whole university
and find someone else to like....

confused...again...

2006-06-23T21:26:00.000+09:00

wed.
rappelling day!!!poor bern lost her purse, she thinks she left it at lkb(lutong kapit bahay) and she swears that she want the person who took her wallet to die...then it was time for cwts...i was super excited to learn the rappelling stuff like walkdown, fade away, aussie and of course lizard,better known to us as tap!tap! so yun sir j told us to walk 10 times from this point to that point tapos divide 700 by the total number of steps, corny yun bilang bilang lng ng number, so tapos nun rappell na pero kuya chris taught us how to put our sling...after nun rappell na...grabe super nakakatakot yung una kong pagbaba yung walk down scary pero after that medyo ok na...then i tried the fade away type of rappelling,,..saya...
i won superman returns ticket!!!yey all thanks to my debate topic which is....is speaking in english a sign of being unationalistic?yes!while the whole world is waiting for the 28 to watch superman...me and my cousin would be one of the few people to watch it on an earlier playdate...sa tuesday....bwahahaha...

thursday....
i love che 2!!!!it was so easy and the best part of it....syempre...classmate ko si trina, kris, pam, mark and carlo!!!yey!!!!
it's my dad's birthday..he got home drunk and ate all of our food....stupid!

friday.....
shit!!!bakit hindi ako nagaaral ng physics...ang dali dali ng recit pero wrong yung answers ko...naman....grrrr...buti na lang sir recit dude gave me plus 1 for that answer thing....grrr.....need to study...friend x...saw him today...grrr...galit ako sa kanya...i think he knows that i like him....apog ng mukha nya!!!tu es stupido amigo x!!!!el es amigo x stupido!
i hate you...ang kapal ng face mo hindi na kita crush....bern told me to think about other stuff so i will....i'll focus on my studies and participate on org activities to forget friend x....isang malaking gudluck sa akin...feeling talaga xa....

home

2006-06-20T21:29:00.000+09:00

i really don't know what to do as in promise...
i asked ahjh if she thinkd na alam na ni friend x sbi nya cguro well may malakas na radar kasi ang
guys eh...well...if ever na malaman nya what will he say...na weh?di nga?hay grabe..need to think of happy thoughts..well goodbye muna...need to watch gilmore girls...

bad day...

2006-06-20T20:32:00.000+09:00

when was my last post?hmmm...last friday let's see nothing significant happened last saturday and sunday,except that me and my mom are joking bout my dad going on a date with his kabet coz i saw him all dressed up with gel and with the yucky scent of after shave....

and at night aroung 8 ish we were watching vh1 stuff...uhm the first one was theme songs of movies..the second one yung dance movies theme songs...of all those on the list 2 stood out...
first one was the song iris used for the motion picture city of angels...grabe while we were watching the vh1 thing naiiyak ako...well iris is my favorite song of all time...kaya if ever magkaron ako ng bf and i sing iris palagi wala na lakas na ng tama ko dun...second song is from romy and michelle's highschool reunion, yep yung time after time na sinayaw nila nung patapos na yung flick,,,uhmmm hello nakakatawa kaya yun...

so nung monday yun na ata yung pinakanakakabadtrip na araw ng buhay ko!!!i woke up super early...4 am..tapos i was waiting for the bus nung 6:30 after 30 mins wala pa din, may nagdadaan but they wont let people go in as in total deadma...so i took a bus to sm bacoor...I walked papuntang sakayan nung mga bus to baclaran pero wala din super jam packed na sila na they looked like sardines!seryoso!so nagsakay ako ng jeep papuntang noveleta na dadaan pa dun sa unang pinaghintayan ko ng bus pero lagpas pa dun, 8 na nun, may class pa ako ng 8;30 so absent na ako...I texted my mom and told her what happened and she said na i should just take a jeep to zapote and ride another jeep papuntang baclaran eh super inis na ako nun ayoko ng init ayoko ng dumi...so yun 8:30 i was at noveleta and doy!pati dun punu yung mga bass...yu-uh puno...nakatayo ako from noveleta to baclaran...

last night kakatapos ko lang mag dinner kinuha ko yung phone ko and there was a text from friend x (Lord sana di nya mabasa to!)he was asking kung kamusta na ako...and then yun i said na i'm fine...gosh weird din kaya coz he asked me if i ever kissed my ex, anong feeling and he kept on insisting na dee is a nice nicknme for me...yuckie kaya noh...and then napunta sa pagsasabi nya na bitter pa din daw ako, uhm no coz i like someone na and its you grabe...of course i didn't say that ano ako tungek?so yun he told me na i shouldn't rush into stuff...duh hindi kaya ako ngarurush uhm i didn't plan on liking you...so i said na yun i'm not rushing naman, and that hindi ko kasi magets yung guy friend ko kasi he's the friends zone type of guy and that he would never know, ang reply...you should tell your friend..uhm nu-uh...and then he told me that i should go to bed, chong alas nueve palang nun ano ako bata so yun he said bye bye and played his guitar ata...ah basta friend x you'll never know...never...NEVER!!!!

dad

2006-06-16T20:13:00.000+09:00

i can't think of any think of anything na matino.....well what i mean about that is yung fact na every time i hear anything, see anything that has to do with the f-ing philippine idol, something inside me tells me that i'm so stupid for not trying out for that show, well there's always next time...since its fathers day sa18 this blog will be about my dad...
let's see...when i was young i looked up to him, like he was super dad that he would always be there when my mom would scold me for doing stupid normal kiddie stuff...so yun...everything that i ask binibigay nya...as in everythin'....
pero pagtungtong ko ng grade 6 everything changed, he resigned, he was jobless and my mom had to work or else sa public school ako mag study, and my brother yung aunt ko yung nagpaaral sa kanya...oh well....then nung third year ako, i almost lost my mom, well she wasn't gonna die or something like that....nasa batangas ako with my dad and he told me that he's thinking about staying there na lang and that i should stay there too and study there...after he said that i went to one of the cottages dun sa resort and cried...i already have a plan in mind, i'll wake up early the next day and go home, money wasn't a problem, one of my relatives there gave me 1000 pesos and that's more than enough para sa fare ko pag uwi, pero my dad changed his mind and we went home the next day, well i went home my dad stayed in my grandmother's place...and when i got home i was so thankful that my mom was there sa bahay namin...she was worried sick na i wouldn't be home ever again...nung ding time na yun muntik na akong hindi makapag third year, pero my mom grabe she did something that i'm thankful of till this day...she worked as a gym instructress tapos basta kinausap nya yung principal...nag utang sa tito ko....tapos yun dahil sa mom ko nakapagtapos ako, my dad nag bigay din sya for stuff pero i dunno i was so dissappointed by him...tapos pinaka naging super inis ako sa kanya last year....
well nakapasa ako ng up...and then i told my dad about it, and all he said was tigil muna ako ng pagaaral...wtf!!!and that the only way i could attend the university was if i passed the dost scholarship...pero before nun, katext ko yung ex ko...and i was outside nun asa labas ng bahay...nakatingin sa langit...hoping that someone would help me sa pagaaral ko...and God heard me...my brother talked to me at yun sya yung magpapaaral sa akin, i was so thankful pero at the same time sobrang nahihiya ako, i know na he's my brother na it's a natural thing, pero for me sobrang big deal nun, i mean i think of that na huge favor, coz di kasama sa responsibilty nya as my brother to send me to college di ba?pero un...now i look up to 2 people..
my mom....the best sya!sniff-sniff...i love you mommy...
my brother...love you kuya thanks for being there palagi pero naman wag nang ikalat yung video ko nung fiesta!!!
my dad...grabe...all the things that have happened this past year..buys me a few hours of theraphy...

2006-06-14T20:58:00.000+09:00

Your Hidden Talent

You are a great communicator. You have a real way with words.
You're never at a loss to explain what you mean or how you feel.
People find it easy to empathize with you, no matter what your situation.
When you're up, you make everyone happy. But when you're down, everyone suffers.

You Are Midnight

You are more than a little eccentric, and you're apt to keep very unusual habits.
Whether you're a nightowl, living in a commune, or taking a vow of silence - you like to experiment with your lifestyle.
Expressing your individuality is important to you, and you often lie awake in bed thinking about the world and your place in it.
You enjoy staying home, but that doesn't mean you're a hermit. You also appreciate quality time with family and close friends.

Cheese Pizza

Traditional and comforting.
You focus on living a quality life.
You're not easily impressed with novelty.
Yet, you easily impress others.

kung pao....

2006-06-14T20:06:00.000+09:00

i have no idea what it means pero yun lang maisip kong title eh thanks to bern and alecco...so yesterday we went to up theater to welcome the freshies....naman....after nun nagpunta na kami ng tambayan, and i talked to a freshie named ernest and i learned that his sister and brother in law, i.e, yung brother nya din i.e.,,,,so ang saya nila diba....after nawala yung mga freshies we stayed for awhile pa sa tambayan at ayun, cess started making us laugh, pwedeng pwede na nga syang stand up patawa eh...hehhe...tapos ayun i told bern na naaalala ko yung sa eyes nya si sid yung sa ice age and i told her na hindi ako yun nagstart nun si alecco tapos alecco said na hindi sya yun nagstart nun, bern then said na gusto nyang tusukin yung eyes ko, which lead to alecco saying kung pao na something, masyadong kadiri para ilagay dito...hehehehe

kanina yung first meeting for our pe class...cheerleading...after nun we went to lkb (lutong kapit bahay) and talked about some stuff, like how we hated the food sa eng'g caf kasi sobrang nakakasawa na, how my mom remembers princess and mitch and the reason behind my mom remembers princess is because on the night that they stayed at our place, she screamed "nanay ko!nanay ko!nanay ko!" lots of times dahil sa ipis wahahaha....

then bern got a message from patag that they were at mh 308 for es 1 prerog...so we ran from lkb to eng'g (anlayo!!!!kakakain lang namin takbo agad) then we saw camille(people stop asking kung sinong camille ha...camille seventeen ok!) so yun she told us na hindi es 1 yun dun sa 308 na pages 1 daw dun na sa mismong class magprerog...nakaw naman pahamak!so yun sinamahan na lang namin si camille, while she waited for miggy....eh ang tagal na so hinatid nya na kami dun sa eng'g caf coz patag and pau are there so yun we stayed there till 1:50 tapos nagpunta na kami sa gym for our cwts class...

********************************************************************************************************
wahaha...ang cool ng cwts!!!woohhooo...there were different kinds of rapeling...waw!!!sobra tapos sabi ni sir cwts next sem daw mag camp pa kami sa up lb!!!!ang saya woohhooo

goodbye friend x

2006-06-13T13:18:00.000+09:00

i've made up my mind and i'm gonna forget about friend x naman kasi db pero this time swear as in goodbye forever na sa feelings ko...already found someone....floyd...hahaha....just met him and i dunno if he knows my name pero wala lang...

martes de trece

2006-06-13T12:57:00.000+09:00

my next class is on 1 pm pa kaya eto 'net muna...
first day of class....when i got to ph 208 and sat there waiting for our prof. to come, i realized that hindi na ako freshie, ang weird pero oo, i miss being a freshie, then senora trinidad regala came in, its my spanish class that's why i'm required to call her that, it's fun and she's a nice prof, i can tell by the way she talks to us, and after span i have math 53 so i took the toki jeep to math building, by the time the jeep passed by shopping center freshies came and got in the bus, and wah lah i was reminded of my friends my blockmates, how we bonded, the silly stories we exchanged, the way we laughed at every stupid mistake that we've done, those freshies reminded me of my first day of school, i was used to going to up and waking up early because of soep(its a thing for dost scholars)
so i got here at up around 7 ish and met up with louie and we were waiting for zara then people told us that our freshie thing is not up till 1 pm, so we have to attend our classes, so what did we do?yes we didn't attend our classes, we were to lazy for that that we ended up going to lkb(lutong kapitbahay) and we went to the place between fc and as for the first day funk thing, but we had to go around 1 for our freshie thing and we didn't catch parokya ni edgar play....

so back to the freshies i saw sa jeep, it was fun seeing 'em i remembered some weird freshie stuff, like how jod, cess, mitch, patag and i went to uaap games, and how jod and i imitate the cheering steps of other schools and how we screamed our lungs out para sa up, hahaha fun memories....

when the jeep stopped sa may math, ayun i went to the 3rd floor para makapagprerog hehehe...nakakuha naman ako.thank god!and then ayun part na kami ng clubbers na nagwewelcome sa freshie at i rememberd yung time na kami yung pinupuntahan ng clubbers, ahhh...nice....

.......

2006-06-11T13:12:00.000+09:00

last post before signing off for today...i've decided to forget bout the feelings i had for friend x, i just have to accept that he's forever a friend lang, and that i will find someone out there for me, its just that its hard to let go of a person you never had (an drama) well i have to move on without having my closure, i already started doing the things i did when my ex broke up with me, i erased all of his text messages on my phone, miski quotes, i start day dreaming about justine and hope that i'll see him soon, focus on my studies, do something new to my hair, syempre di ko pa pwede pagupit like before na from shoulder length hair nawala yun at naging parang pang guy na haircut na medyo parang pang anime i'll wear it in a different style na lang, write in my journal a lot well ngaun post about it here in my on line journal, manganalyze ng tao at mag nood ng cartoons

blogthings part 2

2006-06-11T12:44:00.000+09:00

Your Brain's Pattern

Your brain is always looking for the connections in life.
You always amaze your friends by figuring out things first.
You're also good at connecting people - and often play match maker.
You see the world in fluid, flexible terms. Nothing is black or white.

What Pattern Is Your Brain?

Your Birth Month is December

You love life and exude an outgoing, cheerful vibe.
Blessed with a great sense of humor, you can laugh at adversity.

Your soul reflects: Celebration, success, and wealth

Your gemstone: Blue Topaz

Your flower: Narcissus

Your colors: Indigo, green, and blue-green

What Does Your Birth Month Mean?

You Are 12 Years Old

Under 12: You are a kid at heart. You still have an optimistic life view - and you look at the world with awe.

13-19: You are a teenager at heart. You question authority and are still trying to find your place in this world.

20-29: You are a twentysomething at heart. You feel excited about what's to come... love, work, and new experiences.

30-39: You are a thirtysomething at heart. You've had a taste of success and true love, but you want more!

40+: You are a mature adult. You've been through most of the ups and downs of life already. Now you get to sit back and relax.

What Age Do You Act?

Your Birthdate: December 23

You're not good at any one thing, and that's the problem.
You're good at so much - you never know what to do.
Change is in your blood, and you don't stick to much for long.
You are destined for a life of travel and fun.

Your strength: Your likeability

Your weakness: You never feel satisfied

Your power color: Bright yellow

Your power symbol: Asterisk

Your power month: May

What Does Your Birth Date Mean?

hulaan sessions

2006-06-11T12:28:00.000+09:00

after the 7 am mass me and my choirmates would have this practice, pero today meron nga pero parang laro laro lang....so yun since i was in 2nd year highschool parang natuto ako mag hula pero more on sa current state nung tao hindi sa mangyayari sa future, parang na aanalyze ko yung person just by looking at him for a few seconds tapos i just say stuff na di ko alam kung saan nanggagaling, at hindi rin yun sa lines sa palm mo minsan oo pero tungkol lang sa love life ang andun swear yun lang halos ang makikita mo dun...so sabi ko kay chi..its been a long time since i last told you your fortune...aba...so chinee said that i should go on and tell her fortune, so dun nagstart, i end up telling her that her relationship with roi could end up na lovers to best friends kasi they don't give each other time to breathe nawala na din yung element of surprise sa relationship nya, well they text each other ng ganitong time, and i asked her if there were times na she feels nawawala na yung "love" and she nodded kasi naman you have to be very open to one another diba i told her pati that they have to take a break or the worse thing will happen, what could've been a great reltionship will be thrown out the window, after chinee it was hazel's turn...i felt like she was sad and parang super down nya, and i was right she what i asked her was if there were times that she felt na parang napipilitan syang gawin ang mga stuff na ayaw nyang gawin pero she has to do that or else...and i was right tapos she definately needs to think kung saan na pupunta yung relationship nya with dale coz, who are they kidding after ng college, baka super hindi na sila magkita....hmmm.....love nga naman noh...

confused

2006-06-11T11:57:00.000+09:00

last friday when i was on my way home from up i was texting ahjh and bern and telling them how stupid i am for liking friend x, yes hanggang ngayon all i could think about ay about him and me, and the fact na friend lang ang tingin nya sa akin...well i was stopping myself from crying, sus nasa bus ako ah...i even ended up telling ahjh and bern na sana i never met him, that hindi ko sana sya naging close friend, na bakit kasi naging super bait nya sa akin...tapos bern said that everyone goed through this thing, liking a friend na super close na nya...well sana hindi sya di ba kasi i trust him a lot...so yun last night after watching superman 2 i realized na i should just forget about him, kasi uhm he's not good enough for me,....(tama ba daw yun...hehehe) so i was in my room, reading college life in a can....tapos hindi ako makatulog, di binaligtad ko yung pillow ko and then triny ko ulit matulog nakatulog naman ako pero nagising din ako around 1:26 am tapos paikot ikot ako sa kama...then may nagtext, sabi ko sa sarili ko why bother looking who texted you, sila joan lang yan...pero chineck ko pa din kung sino nagtext sa akin...at si friend x sya....wala lang, nagulat ako at inisip ko pa kung magrereply ako, he called me ms.gilmore aba naman so ayun nireplyan ko he was wondering kasi if i was still up, so sabi ko yup, and that hindi ako makatulog...he then said tingnan ko nga naman daw kung sino pa ang gising...tapos blah-blah pa in the end natapos din kaagad pagtetext namin with him saying thanks to me for the early morning talks and god bless daw and he called me dee again...naman...pero ngayon i've decided to just try to forget na i liked him kasi i know that this us thing will never happen...ever kaya nga dang lakas ng loob kong makipag pustahan kay bern, na if maging kami ni friend x ay ililibre ko ulit sila sa island cove pag hindi naman she has to libre me for one week...basta i have to focus on something else, kaya nga ginawa kong crush si bagong crush which i will call yuki hahaha...well kaya ko to.....that's why kelangan ko nang maging close friend si yuki haaay.....

friend x

2006-06-09T17:47:00.000+09:00

hindi ko alam kung pang ilang post ko na ito tungkol kay friend x...super confused na ako...it all started when i was watching i luv ny, yung part na nagiiiyak si polly sa my times square ata....and she said na jologs ako, and that hindi sya dapat magpaapekto kay albert, well narealize ko na jologs din ako...ayan mag bloggers hehehe yep yun ako...so balik tayo on why i got so confused sa feelings ko kay friend x...so nung pinapakita na yung next episodes, when they showed the part na nagagalit si jen kay baste about what she felt about him, ayun na..nagstart na akong mag isip....i went inside my room and started thinking on what i would do...and i ended up rehearsing lines , yung sasabihin ko kay friend x...sobrang weird nun kasi i heard myself say na i hate him because he was such a nice friend tat even if i tried to stop myself from liking him ayun pa din nagkagusto pa din ako sa kanya...and that he should stop the whole teasing me thing...di ba...i mean sus kaw ba naman tuksuhion everytime na magkita kayo di ka maiinis, and argh...basta....so yun...hay....so nakarating ako dito sa peyups around 12 naglunch muna ako sa mcdo with bern, ahjh, jod and mitch...tapos na mention ni bern na nakita nila si friend x, inignore ko yung pagsabi nila ng name nya...pero the more that i tried to think about other stuff,the more na naiisip ko sya....so naghihintay na kami sa pageenlist and stuff natapos ang lahat at wala kaming slot na nakuha...then bern and i had this whole thing, inaanalyze ko yung current state nya, lovelife, blah blah....and then we ended up doing the tissue paper magic ...ano yun....isang weirdong paraan upang malaman mo kung sino ang soul mate mo...so nilagay ko yung name ni friend x, ng isang kachoirmate at ni bagong crush....at pagkatapos ng unang pagsabi ko ng magical words walang lumabas, nung pangalawang uklit name ni kachoirmate ang lumabas, and nung time na yun i just received a message from him , so i tried it again at name ni kachoirmate at ni friend x ang lumabas, i tried it again at name friend x ang lumabas, nainis na ako ginawa ko na yung pangalawang tissue magic,at habing binubuhol ang tissue ang naiisip ko lang ay si friend x...at tada i formed a circle...nagfrefreak out na ako nun pero di ko pinapahalata...i tried it again pero that time i was thinking about bagong crush pero half way thru doing that thing i started to think about friend x...tada circle na naman..i tried it again pero di na circle na buo...kumuha ako ng bagong tissue at ginawa ulit yun at circla pa din...naguluhan na tuloy ako ng sobra...the thing is i like friend x alot pero i don't know if he likes me the way that i like him.,that's why eto at naloloka na...pero sus naman ayokong gawin yung ginawa ko sa ex ko diba..haaaii....i don't know what to do..

reg. day 3

2006-06-09T17:40:00.000+09:00

after waiting for the regcom people to say something about es 1 they announced that they were going to do...blah-blah...so they started calling numbers from 286 down, and then they opened 2 new sections, my number got called but, i didn't like the sched. its at 7 am...so uhm,,thanks but no thanks...ang ewan naman kasi..

reg. day 2

2006-06-09T17:20:00.000+09:00

yesterday, while waiting for the enlistment people to return from their lunchbreak, one of the regcom people shouted that they were opening 3 sections for span 10, then mister bloody hell appeared and said to one of the regcom persons that he'll handle the el 50 enlistment....so he shouted, those who want to enlist for el 50 form theri line where he was, so i walked towards mr.bloody hell...and he asked me what my name was, and i replied denice sir, he said what/i said denice diaz, he then said is that with a d, o'course i said yes, then he was looking for a pen a said, teacher doesn't have a pen, weirdo, anyways he found a red pen and he used it, and he said "bloody hell, its hot here", see that's why i call him mr.bloody hell, so i got in to the el 50 class, i then went to the math building, for the enlisment of math 53, and yep, i had my math 54 class cancelled, and the person who cancelled it, was no other that ms.cabarrubias, and while she was doing the cancellation of my slot in the math 54 class i wanted to rip her head off and dip it in gravy and feed it to hungry dogs, but of course i can't do that so i just smiled at her and day dreamed...so back to me looking for a slot in math 53, when i got there the room where the enlistment of math subjects were filled with people and a lot of 'em were looking for a slot in math 53, but there were no slots available, so they made us sign in a petition list with the time we want the class....and they said that we have to go back today to know the results of the petition thing....evil people!while i was there at the f-ing math building, i saw the guy who said he liked me infront of our class, my classmate in theater and all i can do when he was on way in was to hide,...i didn't want him to see me...nu-uh...

mady moore...rules

2006-06-07T19:17:00.000+09:00

mandy moore!woohoo...just love this song,need to post it!

smallville season finale and gilmore girls update

2006-06-07T19:01:00.000+09:00

so for smallville, i already posted somethin bout it, but what the heck,,,clark gets trapped in another place, chloe kisses clark before he left to go to lex and kill him which he was not able to do since he had powers and lana doesn't know that lex isn't lex anymore

next gilmore girls
uhm lane and dude who sings on the band, they're gonna get married, uhm perfect dress but luke's daughter shows up,lorelie had a dream with the real paul anka ....

l-o-v-e

2006-06-07T18:38:00.000+09:00

i have no idea why i want to post somethin about that dreaded four letter word,love...

i confess i am a hopeless romantic, and my favorite movies are an affair to remember, sleepless in seattle, pretty woman, one fine day and kate and leoplold

yes just like any other girl i am waiting for that person to come and sweep me off my feet, but that dude is still not here so lets have a recap of my past love life

when i was in kinder i had a major crush on carlo salonga and thanks to my brother he kissed me, he was my first kiss,smack on the lips, i can still remember that day when my brother told him to kiss me he did....
next karls jerome deguzman...i discovered that he liked me through pretending that i'm a cousin of myself from the us and i asked him who's your crush and he said your cousin, and my friends were there at our place and they started screaming, ahhh those were the happy days, i even wrote him letters but it was abee who wrote those letters and i worte letters for her crush, nice..,and i asked him if he kept those letters he said he did but he eventually had to throw em away or his mom would be mad,he was the guy who gave me a red rose on valentines day...kilig moment of my life!

grade four, romnick salinas, we had an m.u. thing...he was so cute...

grade 5, 3 dudes liked me, how did i know, those were the days when signing slumbooks were a must...and they confessed ay!they were von, adrian and ranier..adrian's reason, love at first site, same for the two,,,,hayy....
grade 6 karls wanted to court me i pretended not to hear that he asked if he can...nu-uh mister!

first year hmmm...nothin...but two dudes had a crush on me and everytime i would pass by the classroom of derrick they would scream out somethin...hahahaha

second year my close guy friend fell for me...i have no idea why, wait two of my guy friends ended up having a thing for me...

third year...thats when everthing went woaaah...well jay jay a choir mate courted me but he only lasted for like a day,,, he didn't treat my cousin well,,idiot!but yeah i had a thing for him....and on summer that say guy friend glenn had a thing for me again!geeesh...and when i'm around him he ignores me as if i'm a vampire!how did i know?my cousin told me...

fourth year...yeah...i had a boyfriend but boy...i kinda did the how to lose a guy in 10 days thing and he ended up telling me that their pastor told him to break up with me, but he was seeing another girl, his ex, and i just remembered this "hula" for me...

it went like this, i would have my first bf when i'm in 4th yr or 1st yr. college and we would break up and it would be a long time before i get over him, then 2nd bf but i would go on thinkng its not him, 3rd boyfriend just someone, but i'll end up with bf 2...hahahah

college...nada, zilch!zero!
but a fortune teller told me that 3 dudes have a thing for me....hmmm...

now, i'm just gonna forget about having a relationship, i have to take a break, and i know that that dude who'd ment for me will show up on the right time,when i least expect it...

reg.

2006-06-07T17:54:00.000+09:00

because of bern, and my friends, i canceled my plan on shifting to a new course, let's see...when i got there at eng'g jod told me "kilala ka ba namin hindi mo naman college to eh!" syempre pa joke, so i was like this is still my college till the end of academic year, but then bern talked to me and told me that i shouldn't shift and that being in the college of engineering its alright if i'll be delayed since its a normal thing at that college so i thought about it for i dunno 55 seconds and i knew that bern had a point and i said to myself that i should just go for it, and they , jod and bern, told me that they'll be going for a double degree in something so i should just do the same thing, and i agreed....and princess also told me that i'll probably end up in a call center if i shift to that course...

now after we got our form 5a and our form 5 we went to as just to found out that the people who can enlist for ge's today are people from cal, cssp and i forgot the other college, which is so unfair so we ended up going to math building, i needed to get my math 17 classcard or my math 53 classcard , so i went up to get my math 17 classcard only to find out that our classcards aren't there yet, ayyyyy,sir wamar what the hell is up with you why are our classcards not there yet, so i went to the end of the line for my math 53 classcard and i got it, f-ing cabarrubias! so we were now on our way to the gym, and as we were on our way there we ended up immitating the first ever contestant of kapamilya deal or no deal.....how?by saying "del or no del?"..."no del"....there's nothin wrong with how i spelled it really she said it in that manner so let it be...

while eating at the foodcourt, princess was immitating kim of pinoy big brother teens and she's good at it, really!i mean hahaha......and we were doing these knock knock jokes that are so stupid but funny, like

kamuning

kamuning get me get me get me baby i'm yours...

tuna pie

tuna pie to the limit to ...for a chance to be with you...

and of course

see a knee

see a knee batung bakal na taga....gabi gabi na lang ay nasa disco...

we were making fun of ourselves but its a normal thing...

then it was off to play dmx..its been months since we played and i sucked big time, but patag and jod!wooaah...they're good at it so i just played silly arcade games like hitting the fish on the thing, hitting stuff the come up and basketball...then bern came up with the idea that we should collect tickets so we could exchange it for a phone then we will sell the phone and divide the money to us hahaha nice bern...then when bern and i was in the mrt, i started talking about friend x...i dunno...i can keep a secret you just have to make me promise that i shouldn't tell anyone, but if you tell me that you'll kill me when i tell other people about that, sorry dude but i'm just gonna end up telling lots of people....so what exactly did i tell bern...i started with my dream...i told bern that for the past few days i've been dreaming about him, like my dream wherein he wasn't there at my debut and i sent him an sms to say sorry because i forgot to invite him,also i had a dream that he texted me i woke up and started crying, i have no idea why i cried so don't bother asking me why...then i told her its because of some stuff...so i ended up telling her the whole thing but i would not post it here....now i'm here again alone and thinking of some stuff, but i know that the me and friend x thing will never happen i mean i know i'll end up with someone but not him, i just know it......

********************************************************

i will now tell my mom that i sisn't continue my whole shifting thing she's the reason why i studied hard, she always told me that the only thing she could give me is education, we're not that rich so she had that whole speech...and i wanted to give her a house and stuff and i didn't want her to work anymore because what i want her to do is just enjoy her life, cause she and my brother are the ones who made it possible for me to go to college, and i want to pay her back by giving her anythin that she wants...and failing math made me feel that i was such a dissappointment for her but when i got home and told her that she told me tht it's fine that thingd happen for a reason...she's a great mom....

last post promise

2006-06-06T20:31:00.000+09:00

just wait...there better...just went blog hopping and napuntahan ko ang blog ng brother ko...and i just want to rant about my f-ing father
ehem...here goes nothin...you''re an ass...bullshit!can't even send me to school freako, your stupid and dumb and dun sa babae mo, eeeww why my dad he's old as in old...duh?you're an ass dad i hoped for years that you and mom would reconcile and you know fix your marriage pero it just ain't happening...can't you even see how mad my brother is because your so lame, you can't even do anythin that would made me go and say hey that's my dad sige before meron pero ngayon wala na as in zero...zilch...nada...i just want to tell you that as soon is a graduate i'm out of that place we now call home, because reality check lang di na home yun house na lang yun eh, kasi ang definition ng home yung people na nakatira dun love and respect one another pero hindi na ganun eh, you don't even respect my brother, my mom and even me....geeesh tapos you're so into the whole self pity crap...oh men....grow up and be a real dad,.....i guess from now on i'm gonna call you my biological father as in yun na lang di na dad cause you just destroyed my whole idea of you being a good and responsible parent...think dad...THINK!
i know na konting pilit na lang kay mommy and kay kuya we'll be outta your f-ing house.......goodbye!

last post for today

2006-06-06T20:20:00.000+09:00

a little heads up for smallville fans
lana and clark they're not gonna get engaged, jonathan kent's gonna die today, its because of the whole 100th episode thing, just kidding its because lionel luther knows about clarks "special powers" recall the episode wherein he switched bodies with clark, uhm what else?jonathan won the elections and for gilmore girls uhm....lorelie will see her perfect dress but luke's daughter pops in and casually tells her that she's luke's daughter...now i can go.

.....................

2006-06-06T20:00:00.000+09:00

well this is my what 4th post for today i just want to let loose and blog, it's theraphy for me really, i'm now gonna go and enjoy my last free day, for tomorrow, oh let's just say its gonna be a flupie day for me.....

...........

2006-06-06T19:51:00.000+09:00

what am i to do with my life?how am i supposed to know what's right?i'm listening to britney right now and i miss ms. spears videos really she's a good performer... right now i'm so confused what i want is more time to think about things that will have a great impact in my life, cause i'm so fed up with people telling me that i should take this course and not that because that course will give me more job opportunities and that i should just forget taking this course, cause its a lame one...people what about what i want i know that i'm still confused but really i just want them to shut up it's so annoying when people make decisions for you its just too much, i mean lets go way back...like last year the thing i hated the most was when i signed the contract for the dost scholarship, i just want to go with the gov. remulla thing cause i don't need to maintain any grade and i can fail as many times as i will wiothout fear of getting kicked off the scholarship but well silverlining if i didn't go with the dost scholarship i never would have known my dost friends especially zara and ahjh...i just want to take chances well of course that's because now i regret the whole singing thing but i mean i just want to live my life the way i want...i'm so looking forward on being 18 i just want to be able to make my decisions without anybody bugging me i just want to be me....argh.....i just want to be the one to discover what's instore for me...i wanna make mistakes and learn from 'em....

.............

2006-06-06T19:37:00.000+09:00

well...i just can't stop myself from thinking on how i ruined my life by failing that f-ing math 53 i mean ok so ruined is too much but i mean now i know that i suck in math...or maybe its just because of ms.i'm gonna make sure you fail math cabbarubias...i mean i studied hard for those exams everyday when i get home the first thing i do is watch t.v. then study!!!!grrrr...i just you know want to rip her head from her neck then dip it in gravy then throw it in a cage full of hungry dogs!well that's too much but she deserves it...grrrr...she's just pure evil!evil i tell you!hehehe so now i'm still thinking what course, yeah i know i already aid to my mom that i'll be shifting to european languages but i dunno...so i tried this thing wherein before you doze off you think of a problem cause sometimes your dreams give you solutions to your problems so i did, and wanna know what i dreamt bout?it was me performing in this huge stage with taylor hicks!and i wasn't me i was katharine mcphee so that only means one thing i lwant to perform infront of people, and yeah i do but i mean what if i do the same thing i did when i joined this contest i mean i just stood up there then when something went wrong i panicked big time, i did that was not a good experience i stopped inging for like 20 to 30 seconds then i sang again but i was off by that time...i really don't know what to do...but the one sure thing i want to do is go to new york and just stay there for a month or so/.....well...now...let's see...i just have to make a decision...and soon

teen idols

2006-06-06T17:36:00.000+09:00

i was watching mtv last sunday when this "vh1 top 50 teen idols" or something like that aired, so i tuned in and watched, basically the show was about the 50 teen idols who made great impact on a teenagers life, a cutie that girls go gaga over, gals whom men fantisize someone whom teenagers want to be...so that show started with hilarry duff as the host....i can't remember the whole list but i do remember that no. 50 is ms.american idol herself kally clarkson, well according to the people they inteviewed kelly wanted to be a marine biologist but then she joined american idol and that the reason why a lot of people like her is because she has the whole american girl thing going on, then on the list was mandy moore then i had flashbacks of how i liked mandy moore, i watched every damn movie that she was in i know almost everysong she ever released and i even know that she's afraid of butterflies hahaha,

so after mandy moore let's see...uhm now i remember jen. love hewitt now i liked her a lot too, uhm especially when she released her album and o'course the song barenaked fun fun fun, let's see ooh let's not forget joey and dawson, who could ever forget that show, as far as i remember i was still in grade 4 or 5 when that show started and i liked james van der breek a lot hey who wouldn't he's cute and nice and of course i'm one of the i-want-joey-to-end-up-with-dawson people

sarah michelle gellar was there too but when they started on the top 20 teens almost everybody on that list was people from way back , i mean jackson 5 and people my mom knew and had posters on her wall of those yieeeiee hjahahaha but it was fun hearing my mom and my uncle talk about those people hahaha...oh well then on the top 5 all i could remember was that spice girls was there...hmmmm...made me rmember lots of stuff...awww like how i bought every album they had and i also watched their film and how my friends and i used to pretend we were the spice girls lets see, i played the ginger spice part hahaha and we would go to my place and play their songs then act like them and then we would also dance like 'em hehehe we all liked to dance to the tune of stop ahhahaha....

then on the list was uhm nsync and the winner was ms. spears well now mrs. f hehehe...and yes...i was a big fan of britney too,how big?well let's see me and my friend kathy would record her mtv to just know the whole choreo of her new song, yes i know the whole i'm a slave for you choreo also anticipating, i bought a vcd of her concert so i could memorize the whole thing,hahaha,
i liked how she danced but it all changed when she married a dude who had a major crush on her on vegas, then she ended the marriage after 55 hours.....talk about ruining your whole image it was fun watching that show.....

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i regret not auditioning for the philippine idol thing, i mean i was so afraid that i would be sent home that i didn't even think that i'm just gonna try and that whatever happens i would never regret going for it, see i already have a song for that thing for the slow one i'll be someone to watch over me and for the fast song it was let's stay together by al green...oh well i'm gonna try out for that show next season that's for sure.....so i'm gonna post clay aiken's comeback video thing with the new look just to show how cute clay aiken is and that even if he didn't win in a.i. he's still succ...no it's just because he's cute.......wooow...he's so cute!

tomorrow i would go back to school for reg. and i'm not looking forward on going back to school, don't be confused ok...it's just that i'm very nervous because of my whole shifting thing....i'm really nervous cause i don't know what would happen to me.....i don't even know the required gwa to shift to my course, and i don't wanna see friend x....i mean so i'll see him what's the big deal about that right...well i just don't want to see him i have to have "closure" i mean i have to say to him..."i'm over you" so i could move on with my life i mean i know that we didn't become a thing but having that kind of closure would be good for me and ...i could forget him completely...but i know that i can't do that well...let's see he doesn't even know that i like him or does he? well i can't tell him "i'm over you" i mean...argh!i just can't....

i just can't do that....

blogthings

2006-06-04T13:11:00.000+09:00

Your Power Color Is Red-Orange

At Your Highest:

You are warm, sensitive, and focused on your personal growth.

At Your Lowest:

You become defensive and critical if you feel attacked.

In Love:

You are loyal - but you demand the respect you deserve.

How You're Attractive:

You are very affectionate and inspire trust.

Your Eternal Question:

"Am I Respected?"

What's Your Power Color?

Your Career Type: Artistic

You are expressive, original, and independent.
Your talents lie in your artistic abilities: creative writing, drama, crafts, music, or art.

You would make an excellent:

Actor - Art Teacher - Book Editor
Clothes Designer - Comedian - Composer
Dancer - DJ - Graphic Designer
Illustrator - Musician - Sculptor

The worst career options for your are conventional careers, like bank teller or secretary.

What's Your Ideal Career?

People Envy Your Compassion

You have a kind heart and an unusual empathy for all living creatures. You tend to absorb others' happiness and pain.
People envy your compassion, and more importantly, the connections it helps you build. And compassionate as you are, you feel for them.

What Do People Envy About You?

cellphone battery

2006-06-04T13:05:00.000+09:00

chinee and i were eating when jansen asked me "den may boyfriend ka?" to which i answered "wala eh", he then looked at me and asked "bakit?" then i told him "kasi,uhm,may friend ako..." and i ended up telling him eveything that happened between me and friend x, jod already knows who friend x is, also ahjh and zara, well i told zara and ahjh about him and jod guessed correctly, hmmm, and all i said to jod was hahahaha, he's good i mean i gave what?5 reasons why i liked him, and jod asked some questions and then he asked the one question that will surely tell him if the person who he thinks friend x is correct and he asked if...no...i'm not gonna put it here cause if i do everyone would know who he is hahhaha....so while i was telling jansen about friend x kuya marvin called all the bases and told them that its their turn to use the piano with ropher, so i sat there alone with the electricfan on full blast, chinee was teaching the two other sopranos the song aleluya(baste), and i looked aroun, i stood up and sat next to the new soprano and started practicing with them, and then it was our turn and i just sang the song,...after two rounds of aleluya i got up and went to the backroom to look at the choir's collection of "piesa" then i saw the brown envelope labeled "the prayer" i then took it out and started singing the song i then recalled how angry i was with my mom when she told me i had to stop attending choir practices, cause my grade is blah-blah blah-blah so i stopped attending choir practice, but there were times when i told her "ma maginternet lang ako may ireresearch lang ako" when i was there at binakayan practicing hahaha i missed those times when i sneaked out and told her "sasamahan ko lang sila chinee magsm may kelangan kaming bilhin" and after 2 hours go home with nothin,hahaha....so i again scanned the cabinet and found an envelope labeled "when i fall in love" ooohhh i never knew we had these and there was My immortal, mamayug aken, all i desire and lots of stuff, so after 25 minutes i went out and started singing with them, we then went home but chinee and i stopped over this cellphone shop and bought a new ba

smallville season finale

2006-06-03T20:47:00.000+09:00

so this is my second post for today,i just watched smallville' season finale and it was very weird i mean lex luthor was to be used as "container" of the one who destroyed krypton and clark has to kill him nice, and lana was supportive when lex showed him his "talents" so it reminded me of smallville's 100th episode i mean lana could've been mrs. kent by now, but well now she's lex's girl but it won't last well that's because lana's gonna marry pete, you know clark's bestfriend.....and will martha kent die, o'course lois won't she's clark's loveteam ajhahaha

what about friend x?

2006-06-03T19:54:00.000+09:00

so here i am agin, well thanks to jod i fixed this blog account oh and did i mention that this is my 2nd blog account well, let me count...1...2...3...yep i have 3 blogs...well really i like blogging....so why post something about friend x..well to tell you the truth i have no idea, i guess this blog is dedicated to him, cause i want to forget him and i just want to "get over" him i mean so yeah i think i liked friend x a lot, well see if i give out information about him well my friends will surely tease me, so let's just say i haven't known him that long(so this means i met him uhm in college, soep,etc..)so why do i want to forget him,,,well for starters i don't see anything happen to us he's master of the friend zone, really i'm serious..it's just that it sucks that he sends these signals and then boom after a month or two he has someone,see whatever and i gave up on the idea of me and him it's too much it sucks really i'm serious, so yeah i just want to be his friend, haiii, so now i have to give a detailed list on why i liked him

Reasons why i liked friend x:
1. he's a good guy
2. he's good in giving me advices on how i could forget my ex
3. he kept on teasing me(so yeah guys the whole the more you hate the more you love thing is real keep it up)
4.he's a hopeless romantic(uhm this is our secret, he told me this uhm...last december)
5.he likes dogs(i like dogs too)

ok...if i give out more info. you'll know who he is so the list ends at number 5, and now i know that he can't be my uhm luke, like luke and lorelai of gilmore girls, cause i know that even if we become a thing it'll never work out....so yeah...i just hope that he wouldn't text me and he would stop teasing me....